Poem: If You Had Said No

If You Had Said No

If you had said no

the burning Archangel

would have offered no rebuke

(he had not been sent

as for the priest

to humble pride

but to exalt humility)

he would have bowed

his crowned head

in silence

and in silence turned

and walked away

his rainbow plumage

receding in the endless distance

forever

in the courts of heaven

a hush would have fallen

on the cosmic powers

the cherubim

turn their thousand eyes

away from the earth

and the stars

take up

a new song

the celestial spheres

sigh like strings

in perpetual, cyclical

mourning

(for one can neither mourn nor desire

the impossible—

but what was possible

can be mourned and longed for

in remembrance

forever)

a quiet

would have fallen

upon the earth

the grass and the trees

clothe themselves

as in winter

with dimness

the burning desire

would go out

of the heart of things

no more of blood

in the dying leaves

no more of fire

in the blooming rose

the moths

would no longer

seek the flame

the leaves would have

no voice in the wind

the trees would have no eyes

and there would be no face

in the dark forest

the sons of men

would cease from

the ancient rites

of winter and springtime

they would make

no war

for immortal glory

the daughters of men

would be fair only

desired only

possessed only

there would be no light

in their eyes

no gleam of gold

fire earth moonlight

in their tresses

they would bear their children

in silence

with no wild hope

in the pain and blood

the birds

would not sing more sweetly

in their presence

nor would the fire burn brighter

there would be no roses

in them

at all

the littleness

of their children

would have no

greatness

in it

bread would be

only bread

wine only wine

and the blood of men

only like the blood of cattle

poor men

would feel the shame of their poverty

only

the lame

and the blind

and the deaf

weep no longer

and no longer cry out

for pity

the wise

would sink

in endless slumber

the sinner

would no longer have delight

in his sin

and the transgressor

no transcendence

even the demons

would cease to torment

what are only lumps of clay

there would be no kingdom of death

or Antichrist upon the earth

in Sheol

the damned would cease

to wail

Abraham and Israel

and the fathers of the just

would groan

softly

and softly

subside

for the stars

would have no mistress

to wear them like jewels

the light

would sheath

no radiant form

there would be

no hair

for the flowers

no hands

to stroke the grass

and tease the raven

man and nature

would remain

but distant cousins

man and the stars

would remain

only dust and fire

the sun and moon

would have no Queen

the earth no mother

and we would all be

orphans

never

for all the eternities of eternity

the ages of ages

would earth and heaven

God and man

the created and the uncreated

be joined

in marriage

no marriage

of God and creation

God alone

creation alone

with no savior

no lover

and no beloved

integral, complete

self-sustaining

hopeless

no heart, no face,

no voice

created and uncreated

dead and alive

the desire of the world

disappointed

the heart of the world

broken

for all the ages of ages

all creation a Hell

not of fire and pain

wailing and gnashing of teeth

but

of endless sighing

endless autumn

with no rain

and no tears

this is how it 

would have been

if you had said no

this is

how great you are

in your littleness

and God and creation

would have borne it

gladly

for love of you

there was and is

no backup plan

no workaround

no self-deception

no denial

no coercion

and

no persuasion

but I

alone now

am afraid

did you really

say yes

and mean it?

or

am I

a fool?

perhaps

you will take it all back

did you really

say yes

to God?

is a child

born to us

and did he die?

is his blood

really

in the waters

and the clouds?

it is so cold here

and so dark:

did he really rise again?

did you say yes

or no?

blessed be your name forever

O holy Mary

I am yours

forever

like the Archangel

I await only

your answer

Amen